


Live With All Your Faults

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Series: 52 Weeks of Stories 2 [24]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Angst, Arguing, Cheating, Discussion of Abortion, Drunk Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flashbacks, Heterosexual Sex, High School, Incest, Pregnancy, Sibling Incest, Teen Pregnancy, Teenagers, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-22 12:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17663042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: Avery is dating Zac though things are rocky lately and one night with the wrong person could change everything.





	1. And scatter like ice from the spoon that was your womb

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Violent Tendencies

 

Avery chewed on her lip nervously as she sat on the toilet in her parents home, looking down at the little white stick in her hand with a frown of sorts.

All of her body and mind not liking the results she saw because how could she explain the two pink lines on it to her parents? To her boyfriend even?

Her parents would yell and her boyfriend would be hurt.

Zac wasn't a boy with violent tendencies but she did fear once he knew about this. Once he knew about her pregnancy he would do something he'd never do because this baby wasn't his baby. She wasn't pregnant by him and he'd know she had cheated on him.

That she'd been with another boy while they had been fighting a few months back. 

"Fuck," she breathed as she sat the stick down on her bathroom sink, her stomach rolling some and she had to move from the toilet. Pushing the lid up as she bent down on her knees in the floor and got sick. Losing the dinner she had ate just an hour ago and she wasn't sure if it was because of nerves or the baby she had growing inside her or a combination of both.

It had to be both. She was never good with nerves and the baby was making it worse. 

But all she knew either way as she threw up was that she was screwed. She was screwed and she had to figure out a way through this mess.

Of telling her parents and her boyfriend and also telling the father of the baby. Of course he needed to know too.

But that would make things worse as well especially since he was Zac's own older brother.

*****

_Avery sighed as she sat on the front steps of some unknown house. A party raging on inside the house and Avery was out here moping but how could she not be?_

_Today was her birthday and instead of actually celebrating with her Zac had taken her to some damn house party that one of his friends was having and it wasn't even a friend that Avery knew._

_That had only made things worse and so of course they had gotten into a fight. It was their third fight this week, Avery not sure why they were bickering or okay maybe she did know why._

_Zac had been upset because Avery had finally gotten a college acceptance letter. One for a college out of state and he didn't want her going. He was afraid if they went to different colleges that eventually she'd find someone better and forget all about him._

_That idea was absurd and Avery tried to tell him that but he never listened. But still even with that, it didn't mean he had to treat her birthday like this and she was sure he had done it on purpose. Still mad at her from their last argument yesterday._

_"You know it's not nice to mope on porches during parties," a voice spoke beside her and she turned her head to see blonde hair and blue eyes._

_Features that belonged to a familiar face because it was Zac's older brother Taylor. He graduated two years ago now and he still hadn't went away to college._

_He was trying to make it big with some local guys in a band. Avery found the idea endearing but she knew from what Zac said their parents especially their dad found it stupid and useless and where close to kicking him out._

_"I'm not moping," Avery lied as she reached up to wipe a tear that was going down her cheek. She was moping but that didn't mean she had to admit it to Taylor._

_It wasn't like she was close to him. She only knew what Zac told her about him and what people had said about him since he'd been a part of the popular crowd at their school._

_Had dated a cheerleader that he met in choir because of course that was the one thing they had in common. The relationship had lasted all through high school but they'd broken up a few months back. Zac had said Natalie had just wanted something more than the boy she'd dated in high school._

_Avery half wondered if that was what started Zac's fear about them going to college in different states._

_"Really because crying looks an awful lot like moping," Taylor countered and his words made Avery blush. Feeling embarrassed that he noticed the tears. "Where is my brother at? He shouldn't have left you out here in this state."_

_"He left," Avery revealed with a shake of her head. "We had an argument because today is my birthday and this isn't...I didn't want to spend my seventeenth birthday like this at some party and we argued and he just left me here. Told me to find my own ride home."_

_"Really?" Taylor asked sounding astonished at this fact. "That doesn't sound like Zac," he stated with a shake of his head._

_Again Avery reached up to wipe at a tear going down her cheek, "It usually isn't but things have been hard the last few days between us," she confessed not sure why she was again telling Taylor anything. "He doesn't like that I plan to go to college out of state. I think it's because of what happened with you and Nat," she revealed having to look away from Taylor at that revelation._

_She wasn't sure if Natalie and their break up was still a sore subject with him._

_"Ah," Taylor stated as if everything made sense now. "You're not Nat though Avie and he'll realize that. You've been in love with Zac since we were children and you'll never tire of him."_

_"I wish he could see that," Avery sighed before looking back up at Taylor. "I'm scared if he doesn't he may break up with me and I don't know what I'd be without Zac."_

_"You'd still be you," Taylor told her as he slung an arm around her shoulder and it was only then that she smelled alcohol on his breath faintly. He was drunk but not that drunk. "Now enough moping over my brother. How about coming inside with me and at least trying to have a good time. It is your birthday after all and they do have a nice choice of alcohol. Alcohol makes heartbreaks better temporarily. I know that so well right now."_

_Avery fell silent as she contemplated Taylor's words and the moment she looked into his blue eyes she felt like the decision was made for her._

_After all no one could tell Taylor Hanson no._

_"Okay," she nodded watching as a smile appeared on Taylor's lips and he moved his arm off her shoulder before standing up and holding his hand out for her._

_A hand she took as she let him help her up and lead her into the house. A house that was still full of people and loud cheesy rap music._

*****

"Well?" Jessica asked almost desperately as Avery stepped out of the bathroom and into the room they shared. "Are you pregnant?" she asked and Avery almost regretted telling Jessica that she was late and feared she was pregnant.

But she had needed someone to vent too about this entire fucked up situation and who else could she run too but her older sister? She'd always ran to Jessica for help and this was no different.

Though now there wasn't much help Jessica could give her besides work. Avery was the one carrying a baby inside of her body and not her sister. There was no way Jessica could just magically take the baby from her womb and put it in her own. Avery hating that she almost wished it was possible.

"I'm pregnant," Avery confessed as she went to sit down next to Jessica on the bed and the moment she did, she finally broke down in tears she'd been holding back. "I've fucked everything up Jessie," she said knowing she was whining but honestly she felt like she deserved this.

You were allowed to whine when your life was going to shit.

"Oh Avie," Jessie muttered as she reached out and pulled Avery to her. Avery feeling some comfort in her sister's embrace. "Do you know what you're going to do?" she asked like Avery had many options in front of her.

"I'm going to have to tell mom and dad," Avery spoke through her tears. "And Zac. God he's going to know it's not his baby...we haven't..not since I cheated on him with Tay," she said knowing she hadn't had sex with Zac since then.

She'd been too guilty and the guilt had made her not want Zac to touch her and he was beginning to get suspicious. He'd questioned it on her just this week because this was the longest they had went without sex since they had started having sex when they were both sixteen.

The both of them losing it to each other after homecoming that year. It was cheesy and cliche but that was just who she and Zac were..or had been.

They wouldn't be anything once he knew about this baby that wasn't his.

"You don't have to tell anyone really Avie," Jessica spoke as she rubbed Avery's back. "You do know there are other options, right Avery?" she asked and Avery swallowed hard at her sister's words.

She wasn't dumb she knew Jessica meant getting an abortion and it wasn't something she'd considered. Wasn't sure if she could do it.

Anyway she felt wrong considering it without even telling Taylor first. Didn't he deserve a say too even if it was her body? Or at least he deserved to know about the baby before it was gone, not after.

"I know," Avery said as she finally pulled away from Jessica's embrace. "I'm just not sure I can do that. I mean...I know it's my body but I feel I should tell Tay first. Just so he knows or some shit," she muttered not sure why she even felt loyalty to him with this news.

It'd been a one time thing and it meant nothing to either of them. They'd both felt guilty the morning after and since they hadn't even been in the same room since. They were avoiding each other like the plague or scared if they were in the same room together everyone would see their shared secret.

That they had betrayed Zac.

Before either Jessica or Avery could say anything else Avery's cell phone which was was still on the shared desk in the bedroom started ringing and she didn't even have to look to see who it was. She knew from the ringtone it was Zac.

Like somehow she has psychically connected to him with her last thought and now he wanted to make her feel worse.

"It's Zac," she stated as she moved from the bed. "I should..I need to get it," she spoke as she walked to the desk. Reaching for her phone and hitting answer.

"Zac?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "Why are you calling at ten pm on a school night?" she asked knowing he had to know she wasn't allowed calls after nine-thirty on school nights her parents being strict like that.

"To tell you my parents are throwing a party tomorrow in Taylor's honor and your invited," Zac spoke like he was proud and there was that sick feeling again.

Would he be so proud of whatever Taylor had done to get a party if he knew that Taylor had sex with her just last month? That she had carelessly let his brother inside of her without even thinking of how it would hurt him.

"A party for Taylor?" Avery questioned. "What he'd do? Finally agree to go to college?" she asked sarcastically unable to help herself.

"No," Zac answered and she could picture him shaking his head. "His band got signed onto a big label Avie," he revealed and that wasn't something Avery expected to hear. "They leave for California in January to start making an album and my parents are so thrilled to be wrong that they want to throw a party."

"Oh," Avery muttered out because that was all she could think to say right now. This news it seemed only made things worse on her because what kind of person would she be if she dropped news of a baby on Taylor when things seemed to be going so right for him?

Maybe a secret abortion was her best option.

"I'll umm..I'll consider it Zac," Avery finally mustered up the courage to say. "But right now I really need to go. It's late and I'm not feeling well," she said before hanging up before he could even say anything.

Turning back to face her sister she knew Jessica wanted answers. Answers that Avery would provide her with later once she had taken everything in herself.


	2. This dream isn't feeling sweet

 

"I can't believe you are getting an ultrasound Avie," Jessica spoke as she drove her sister to the doctor's office two days after Avery had found out she was pregnant.

Avery having avoided going to Taylor's party, making up some lie about being sick but honestly it hadn't been much of a lie. It seemed since finding out she was pregnant that her morning sickness seemed to have gotten worse. Turning into an all day kind of sickness.

"You need to be getting an abortion not seeing the baby."

"I know what I should be doing," Avery retorted knowing her sister was right especially with what she now knew about Taylor. His record deal and all but she couldn't just abort something without seeing it first.

She just had to know and maybe she owed the baby that. So of course instead of calling and scheduling an abortion she had called and set up an appointment for a check up and ultrasound. After all she was seven weeks pregnant and she needed to know if the baby was okay.

Though she was sure it was. It wasn't like she'd drank or smoked anything since her birthday. She'd done everything except take prenatals and stuff. So she was sure the baby was good but she wanted to know, wanted to see it to know it was real. Even if she didn't keep it.

Someone had to know and have evidence this was real or Avery was afraid one day she'd forget or think this was all dream she'd cooked up.

One big nightmare.

*****

_Avery who was just a tiny bit tipsy looked at Taylor as he drove them to some hotel not far from the house where the party had been happening. A small part of her feeling guilty because he'd be paying for the room but there was no way she could go home even the tiniest bit drunk._

_Her parents would kill her if they caught her sneaking back in and she knew with her luck they would catch her. They'd for sure catch her and she couldn't have that. So she'd somehow batted her eyelashes just right and convinced Taylor to get her a hotel room._

_So she could sleep off being drunk and go home tomorrow. Making up some lie about where she had been, at least that would be easier to deal with then getting caught drunk._

_When you had strict parents you had to pick your battles, she had learned that in her seventeen years living with them._

_"I'm sorry you have to pay for a room for me," Avery finally spoke as Taylor pulled into a hotel. "I'm really sorry."_

_Taylor only laughed as he looked over at her as he pulled into parking a space, "It's fine Avie," he told her with a tiny wink. "I'd much rather you be alive instead of dead because your parents killed you for getting drunk. Zac would be miserable without you, you know."_

_"I'd be miserable without him too," Avery replied with a small smile that soon turned into a frown once she remembered how much they had been arguing._

_Her fear of them breaking up coming back to her brain but she didn't tell Taylor that. Instead she remained silent as he slipped out of his car. Telling her that he'd get the room before helping her inside and Avery didn't think she was drunk enough that she needed help inside._

_But again she didn't say anything about that. She just remained silent as she watched Taylor head into the hotel, her head spinning some as she leaned against the seat of his car._

_Her frown deepening because she wished Zac were here. She had wanted to spend her birthday with him but instead they had fought and Zac had showed his stubborn nature._

_Something Avery loved about him except when he was using that nature on her._

*****

Leaving the exam room after her ultrasound Avery just looked down at the image in her hand of the baby that was growing inside of her and just seeing the baby, it did make this whole thing real it seemed.

This wasn't some dream or nightmare she was having. There really was a baby growing inside of her. A baby that by her end of July due date had been conceived on her birthday. 

Avery was having a baby with Taylor a man who she didn't love and he didn't love her. A man whose dreams were coming true while hers it seemed were turning into nightmares and may simply be dust by the end of all this. 

That was if she even kept the baby. She could still get rid of it, it wasn't too late for that.

Jessica seemed to think she should have an abortion and maybe her older sister was right. If she got rid of the baby she could keep her dreams. She could keep Zac and not upset her parents. Not ruin Taylor's life by telling him that their mistake had resulted in an even bigger mistake.

But as she took one last look at the image of her child she knew she couldn't just make that decision on her own. It was too big and whether she liked it or not she had to tell Taylor first.

Pocketing the image she left the doctor's office and headed to Jessica's car where her sister was waiting on her and as she slipped back into the car she saw the way her sister looked at her.

Like she wanted to know what Avery was thinking.

"I have to talk to Taylor first before I decide anything," Avery stated not missing the look of disappointment that Jessica gave her.

"You're making a big mistake there," Jessica sighed but she started her car up and pulled out of the space she had parked in. "He doesn't need to know anything and telling him will only complicate things Avie."

Biting her lip Avery restrained herself from saying things were already fucking complicated. There was a baby on the way and that was the biggest mistake there was.

But big mistake or not it was only fair that Taylor knew. That he had a say in what she did or at least that she heard his opinion before deciding what to do.

*****

_"You didn't have to help me to the room," Avery spoke as Taylor helped her sit down on the bed before sitting down beside her. "I could have gotten here by myself," she told him with a slight laugh. "Though it may have taken forever since my head is all swimmy and spinny."_

_"And that would be why I didn't let you walk here by yourself," Taylor retorted and Avery once again laughed at his words. "You would have fallen on your ass and broken something if you'd tried to get here on your own."_

_Shrugging Avery just laid back against the bed, "It would still beat being dead though," she countered. "I'd just have a broken leg or arm and be grounded for life by my parents. But I wouldn't be dead."_

_"So anything is better than death?" Taylor questioned as he laid down beside her._

_Avery nodded her head as she looked at him a small smile on her lips, "Anything would be better than death," she told him as she let herself move closer to him. "You should probably go now before your own parents kill you for being out so late," she said not sure if he had a curfew._

_He was over eighteen but he did still live at home. Her parents always loved to remind her that no matter how old she was if she lived at home she'd always follow their rules._

_Which meant coming home when they said she had to come home._

_"Nah, it wouldn't be nice of me to leave you," Taylor spoke softly as he reached out to brush some hair off her face. "I'd feel horrible leaving you here in this hotel," he said and Avery wanted to complain. She wanted to tell him she was fine and a big girl who could fend on her own but she didn't._

_It was the first time in a while a boy had been nice to her or well a Hanson boy since Zac was being such an asshole and maybe it was that, that propelled her to close the gap between them and kiss Taylor on the lips. It had to be that because everything else inside of her was screaming it was wrong and she knew from the slight hesitation Taylor gave before kissing her back that he knew it as well._

_He knew it but he still returned the kiss. He also didn't push her away when she let her arm drape over his hip. Her body moving closer to his like she was trying to climb on top of him._

_Instead he only deepened the kiss, his hands moving to her waist and moving her so that she actually was on top of him. A moan coming out of Avery's mouth as their hips brushed against each other as the kiss got more sloppy. Their bodies wanting a friction it seemed._

_Something they could only get with each other right now. But the action was enough to make Avery pull away and look down at the boy below her._

_He wasn't the boy she was used too but in her tipsy addled brain Avery wasn't sure that mattered. All that mattered now was that she was turned on and it was her birthday and she wanted to get off. She wanted to have a fucking orgasm and she deserved one after crying earlier._

_That was why wordlessly without saying anything she reached down to take her own shirt off before leaning down to kiss Taylor again. Another moan coming out of her mouth as his hands moved up her back, going to her bra which he undid in a hurry and as it fell off she broke the kiss once again to let it go all the way off._

_A blush coating her cheeks when she felt Taylor eyeing her. Taking in her half naked form and her barely there breast because she hadn't been that blessed with breasts. Not like other girls but then again neither had Natalie and he'd dated her for so long._

_Avery wondering if Taylor was comparing them in his head and hoping that he wasn't. She was trying not to do that with him and Zac. Hell she was trying not to think of Zac at all._

_"You're beautiful," Taylor said softly his words bringing her out of her head and she watched as he lifted up from where he laid beneath her. Taking his shirt off and throwing it to the floor with her clothes._

_"You're just saying that because I'm on top of you and half naked," she retorted as she let her hand move down his chest. Amazed at how soft and smooth it was and again it wasn't the chest she was used to touching. It felt weird and foreign under her hand but it still wasn't enough to make her turn around._

_They'd already come so far. They'd shared kisses and she was topless as was he. It was too late to turn around and just forget._

_Taylor shook his head before his lips attached to her neck, Avery's eyes falling shut as goosebumps covered her arms with the way he was kissing at the skin there. "No, I'm not," he muttered on her skin, his hot breath hitting it and creating more goosebumps. "You're so fucking beautiful," he continued and Avery's eyes shut tighter as Taylor let a hand move around to her breast._

_Two of his fingers playing with one of her nipples and god she almost wished it was his mouth. If his mouth felt as good as it did on her neck she was sure it'd feel even better on her breast._

_"Can I show you how beautiful you are?" Taylor asked and god if he kept saying stuff in that breathy voice of his she'd let him do anything._

_That had to be why Avery nodded her head, giving him consent and it was after that, that he moved her so she was on the one on her back. Taylor above her and she had to open her eyes then. Watching as he moved his fingers off her nipple. His hands going to work on her jeans which he soon tugged off her with her help._

_Her panties coming off then too and as soon her panties were gone Avery held her breath when Taylor moved between her legs. His lips kissing at her thighs first before finally going to that place between her legs that his brother knew so well._

_Avery half positive with the way Taylor was eating her out right now that the Hanson brothers had clearly been gifted with good tongues and mouths. That or one had learned from the other how to go down on a girl and it wasn't like she was going to complain about that._

_Not when they were so good. Knew what they were doing and how to work their tongues and fingers inside of a woman. Knew all the right spots to hit._

_It was only when Taylor pulled away that Avery let out a small whine. Not even being able to help herself because she wanted Taylor's lips back on her cunt. Wanted his tongue and fingers working her over until she had an orgasm._

_"Don't whine Avie," Taylor muttered out as his hand slid between her legs. Her whine dying some as he rubbed at her wet flesh which only seemed to ache more as he rubbed at it. Her hips lifting up into his touch. "I don't want you to come that way," he told her and she almost asked him how he wanted her to come but when he moved his hand away and worked on his own jeans she knew then._

_So she stayed silent as she watched him finish undressing. Her eyes taking him in then once he was naked in front of her and maybe she was comparing him to his brother then. Knew it was best to keep to herself that Zac was clearly the bigger brother when it came to cocks._

_But that thought made her blush because this was not the time or place to think of him. Not with what she was doing to him with his own brother._

_Putting a knife in his back and he was unaware of it._

_"Well come on then Tay," Avery whispered as Taylor stroked himself to full hardness in front of her. "It's not like we have all night," she teased him but really they sort of did._

_There was no one else in this hotel room but them. They could fuck all night into the early hours of the morning if they wanted because who really needed sleep?_

_"Oh I think we have all night," Taylor retorted with a playful glint in his eye as he moved himself between her legs. "We could definitely do this all night Avery," he muttered out before slipping inside of her none too gently and Avery let her eyes fall shut when he soon started to thrust inside of her._

_Her body beginning to move with his like she'd done this with him before even though she hadn't. She'd never been with him before not once and she knew she'd never be with him after tonight. She couldn't be given the circumstances, who she was dating._

_Opening her eyes Avery leaned up to kiss him just to have something to do that didn't require her to think especially of people who would be hurt if they knew what was happening right now._

*****

Parking her car not far from the diner where Taylor worked, Avery got out as she headed towards it. Knowing it would be best to just find him once he was off work. Tell him this way instead of setting up any meeting or so she kept telling herself.

If she didn't just do it out of the blue then she was bound to lose her nerve. That was just how things were right now it seemed.

Making it to the diner she headed inside not surprised to see Taylor clocking out for the night. But what she was surprised to see was Natalie sitting at one of the booths, looking eagerly at Taylor like she was waiting on him to hurry up and yeah Avery knew that it was Christmas break but she wouldn't expect Natalie to be here, not when she and Taylor had broken up.

"Avery?" Taylor questioned once he had finished clocking out and Avery blushed at the way he stared at her questioningly as he walked to where she was.

Avery not also missing the way Natalie seemed to get annoyed when Taylor didn't come right to her.

"What are you doing here?" Taylor questioned again and obviously he knew she wasn't here to eat. 

Maybe he understood she'd been doing good in avoiding him and if she was breaking that then there had to be a reason other than food for why she was here tonight.

"I needed to talk to you," Avery sighed knowing there was no use in lying or beating around the bush. "But I see you have someone else waiting on you," she said as her gaze wandered back to Natalie.

"Nat...yeah," Taylor spoke with a small laugh and Avery knew once he knew about the baby on the way he probably wouldn't be laughing. "If you had came to the party Zac invited you too then you'd know we got back together. It happened a few days after...." he said trailing off and she knew what it meant.

They'd gotten back together after Taylor had slept with her.

"Congrats," Avery told him with a forced smile not sure how she could be happy when she had the potential to ruin everything. "I should go then though so you can spend time with Natalie," she said making up her mind then.

Maybe this was the sign she needed to just go ahead and get that abortion. Get rid of this baby before everything fell apart for everyone.

"Wait," Taylor spoke as he grabbed at her wrist when she turned away. "What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked her and when Avery turned to face him she swallowed hard, her heart beating faster.

This was the moment where she could lie and keep her mind made up about the abortion or tell him the truth. Tell him about the baby and start the slow ruin of everyone's lives.

Swallowing hard she looked away from his gaze as she pulled her wrist out of his grasp. "I'm pregnant Taylor," she admitted softly. "I'm pregnant and it's your baby and I just...I thought you should know about it before I decide to do whatever I need to do," she said chancing a look up at him.

Avery hating the frozen look on his face. It was enough to make her turn around again then and leave the diner before he could stop her. 

She just needed to get away from him, not wanting to see the anger she was sure to come. She had to leave the site of the metaphorical bomb she had just dropped.


	3. And all the pieces fall right into place

 

Avery who had just gotten out of school for the last day before winter break, made a face when she heard her cell phone ringing the moment she got in her car. She wasn't sure who was calling since she'd just seen Zac and she knew he had to work, help his dad at the garage which Walker owned.

A garage that one day Isaac, their eldest son would own. But hopefully that was a long way off because Avery wasn't sure Isaac was ready just yet to run the garage. Not when he was off in another state sowing wild oats or that's what Diana had called it last New Years Eve when the punch had been spiked by one of Zac's friends at a New Years Eve party.

She was also sure it wasn't any of her friends calling either mainly because again she'd just seen them in school. So that's why she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket with more urgency than she probably should have.

Seeing Taylor's name staring at her she felt as if her heart had stopped beating. Hell it could have because she hadn't seen Taylor for four days. Since telling him about her pregnancy and then running out, Taylor not running after her like one would expect in movies.

But this wasn't a movie, it was real life. People didn't run after people usually. 

Taking a deep breath Avery hit to answer the call, putting the phone to her ear, "Hello?" she asked feeling apprehensive in what he wanted but also feeling like she knew what he wanted as well.

He had finally realized what she told him. The weight of it all had sunk in, they were having a baby and he wanted to talk about that.

"Avery," Taylor said her name like he was surprised she had answered. "Umm...I....you're really pregnant?" he asked just cutting to the chase after stumbling over his own words. "I mean you've taken a test or been to the doctor's?"

"I've done both," Avery admitted as she leaned against the seat. "The pregnancy test was positive and I had an ultrasound. I've seen the baby," she said knowing she still had the picture hidden away in her diary at home.

It was under lock and key so no one but her could see it and while she knew her parents were strict, she had faith they wouldn't snoop in her diary. They never had before and she hadn't given them much reason too even the times she did disobey them.

Taylor went silent at her words and she almost feared he'd hung up on her. Gone into denial or something again but then she heard his faint breathing and she knew he hadn't. He was still on the other end of the line and obviously he was needing to take in her words.

Take in the fact that she'd seen the baby and it was all real. There was a tiny human growing inside of her that they had made from one damn mistake.

Just one mistake.

"Can we meet up somewhere? Talk face to face," Taylor finally spoke again after what felt like forever. "Please."

Closing her eyes Avery drew in her breath and let it out slowly, wanting to say no and deny him that. That they were fine not talking face to face but she knew with the added on please that she couldn't. She wasn't that vindictive, not by a long shot.

"Sure, just tell me where you want to meet at Tay."

*****

_Waking in the hotel room the next morning, Avery opened her eyes as she became faintly aware of the body lying next to her minutes before realizing that she was naked. That thought making her sit up quickly as she turned her head to see Taylor beside her._

_The sheet around them not hiding much and she knew from what she saw that he was as naked as she was. Her eyes closing as last night seemed to come back to her in full force. She'd had sex with Taylor and not even cared about her boyfriend._

_The boy who was his brother and well it seemed he hadn't cared either. He hadn't stopped her or pushed her away and god, they were such awful people for what they had done._

_So fucking awful and how could she even face Zac again after this? How could she be in the same room as him and Taylor now?_

_She was afraid if she were that Zac would just be able to read it. See that she had betrayed him in the worst possible way and had sex with his brother._

_She'd done the unthinkable and she knew she'd have to find a way to live with it. If Zac knew this would kill him, she was sure of that. She could feel it in her bones almost._

_Avery didn't want to be the reason Zac died or even came close to that, she didn't want to hurt him like that._

_Coming out of her thoughts when she felt movement beside her on the bed, Avery watched as Taylor opened his eyes, seeing the guilt written on his face the moment he looked up at her and she knew just like everything had hit her, the moment he had seen her staring down at him it had probably hit him too._

_He knew what they had done was wrong and how much they had fucked over Zac without Zac even knowing. Without Zac even deserving what had happened._

_"Shit," Taylor muttered out as he too sit up, a hand running through his hair which was greasy. "Fucking shit we messed up," he stated and Avery laughed at his words though it was bitter sounding._

_There was no cheer to be had in her laugh._

_"I think that's an understatement of the century right now," Avery sighed as she brought her knees to her chest. "Zac...god he is going to hate us," she said with a shake of her head. "This is going to kill him."_

_"He doesn't have to know Avery," Taylor spoke up again sounding like he'd made his mind up when it came to Zac. "We don't have to tell him what we did. It was a mistake and one that won't happen again," he said sounding convinced of that._

_Like he knew he'd never let himself fall into bed with her again and she wanted to believe him. Wanted to believe they wouldn't be that weak but it was so damn hard._

_"So you're suggesting we just pretend this night never happened?" Avery questioned pretty sure that was what he was saying but she wanted confirmation of it._

_Taylor nodded his head as he refused to look at her, "I know it's wrong not to tell Zac but like you said this would kill him and he's my brother. I love him Avery even if what happened last night would seem like I don't, I do and I don't want to be responsible for ruining his life."_

_Nodding her head Avery took several deep breaths as she took in what Taylor said. Telling herself he had a point even if she knew she'd hate lying to Zac. It did seem like the best option because if he knew what had happened he'd be heartbroken and she'd lose him._

_She didn't want to lose him, she still loved him after all and last night had been a mistake. A mistake she couldn't easily explain but it was still one nonetheless. She didn't love Taylor and she wasn't sure she wanted to be in bed with him again._

_He wasn't the boy she loved, the boy she had really wanted to have sex with on her birthday._

_"Okay," she agreed after several long moments of silence. "We'll keep this between us. Our secret," she said with a tiny smile._

_This would be one secret she'd take to her grave if she could._

*****

Arriving at the park where Taylor had asked to meet, Avery parked her car, spotting Taylor already. Not sure why she was surprised he was here already and sitting on a bench waiting on her.

Obviously this was his idea and so of course it was only right that he show up first. 

Taking a deep breath Avery pocketed her keys as she got out of her car, walking to where Taylor was sitting on the bench and when she sat down beside him she did her best to stare ahead. Not wanting to look at him just yet because despite him knowing it seemed her nerves were still getting the best of her.

"You wanted to talk in person," Avery said deciding to be the one to break the silence first. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I think we both know what I wanted to talk about," Taylor retorted with a slight clipped laugh. "The baby...the one that you say is mine," he said and his words made her turn to look at him a glare on her face because she didn't like the small accusation there.

"Are you saying you think I'm lying?" Avery asked unable to hide her anger as she spoke.

It wasn't like she'd lie about something like this. Not when her entire relationship with Zac was at stake with this news.

"How are you sure it's my baby?" Taylor questioned as he eyed her. "I'm not stupid I know you and Zac have sex. Are you telling me that every time you do that he uses a condom?"

Blushing at his words Avery had to look away from him, "He doesn't but I just...I have a feeling okay," she muttered out as she glared again once looking back at him. "It's not like we've done it since I've been with you and the doctor thinks I likely got pregnant on my birthday given the due date..."

Taylor went silent at that and as Avery watched him her glare lessened only slightly. Not by much though but at least it seemed like he was contemplating her words.

Taking what she said in and thinking everything over.

"Are you willing to lose Zac over a feeling and the fact that your due date says you could have gotten pregnant on your birthday?" Taylor asked finally. "I mean I know mom is always saying first babies can come two weeks before or two weeks after so due dates mean nothing...it could be Zac's," he sighed as if he was trying to convince himself that the baby was Zac's for his own mind.

Avery wondering if he was just as scared of losing Natalie again and maybe she understood that in ways. Maybe she did but she also felt Taylor was being a coward.

"I think you're just scared of losing Natalie," Avery spoke her tone bitter now. "You want to keep her so you want to believe a lie."

"Maybe that is part of it," Taylor conceded his words making Avery feel vindicated. "But I also don't want to hurt my brother and I know you don't want to either Avie."

Sighing Avery chewed on her lip, hating that Taylor did have her there. She didn't want to hurt Zac with this news but she didn't see a way around it.

"So then what are you suggesting?" Avery questioned him though she wasn't sure she wanted to know deep down. 

"That you tell Zac this baby is his. He'll never have to know it might not be," Taylor spoke as if he was okay with this lie. Like he was really okay with Zac raising a baby that could be his and maybe he was.

Avery wondering if maybe Taylor was just that fucked up because didn't he see how bad things could be if this backfired? 

If Zac found out this baby wasn't his at any point after, especially if he got attached then he'd be even more devastated than what he was.

"I could just get an abortion instead of lying to Zac," Avery offered. "I'd rather do that then lie to him more than what I already have," she said knowing her lies to Zac were slowly killing her anyway.

Guilt could be suffocating and she really didn't want to live with more guilt than what she was already. She'd rather the truth come out so she could be absolved of her guilt even if Taylor wanted to keep things under wraps.

Avery wondering if he even truly felt any guilt at all. He sure didn't seem like he did no matter what he said.

"No," Taylor said rather harshly, the harshness of his tone surprising Avery. "I'd rather you lie to Zac than abort a child that could be mine," he stated and his words just made her shake her head.

He really was giving her no choice it seemed. She would have to lie to Zac and knowing that, it made her hate Taylor somewhat. It made her hate him and she hoped one day somehow karma got him in the end.

Though she kept those thoughts to herself.

"So you're forcing my hand then," Avery told him as she shook her head and stood from the bench. "Fuck you," she spat out harshly as well before turning on her heel and walking to her car.

Not even wanting to see Taylor's face right now because it made her angry. She just wanted to be as far away from him as she could get. Because deep down she did feel like Taylor was forcing her hand.

He knew she wouldn't hurt Zac which meant she'd do what he wanted, she'd lie and let Zac believe this baby was his and in the end if it all blew up Zac would be more hurt then he would have been if they had just told the truth.


	4. I don't wanna be a murderer

 

"Why did you want to see me so bad for Avery?" Zac questioned as he sat in the backseat of his car with Avery. Avery doing her best to not look at him right now.

It had been mere hours since her meet up with Taylor and she was afraid if she looked at Zac she wouldn't be able to keep up the lie that she'd have to tell him.

A lie that Taylor wanted her to tell, had forced her hand on telling. A lie that would ruin Zac if he found out the truth later on down the road.

"Because I have news that could change everything for us," Avery sighed choosing then to look back at Zac. Feeling sick and this time she was sure it was because of her nerves. Not because of the baby she was pregnant with and she wanted to kill Taylor. "I'm pregnant," she admitted softly as she chewed on her lip watching Zac closely.

Wondering if he'd assume it was his baby or if somehow in his gut he'd know it wasn't his baby. Know despite their lack of condom use there was just no way it could be his.

Then again maybe there was a slim possibility but Avery knew given her due date that even the slim possibility was a small one. Very fucking small.

Zac swallowed visibly as he raised an eyebrow, his eyes locking with hers, "You're pregnant?" he asked like he hadn't heard her right the first time and all Avery did was nod her head at his question. 

Watching as Zac seemed to go pale at her words and she knew then he didn't doubt the baby being his baby. He thought it was his and there was no way Avery would tell him different. Not if it was just them and especially since she knew Taylor wasn't on her side.

Taylor would just cheer her on in continuing the lie.

"Fuck," Zac muttered finally as he leaned into the seat some. "This...wow," he sighed with a shake of his head. "This complicates everything..college...plans for the future besides college..."

"I know," Avery said because she knew those were dead end dreams now. Could she really do college with a baby? And since she was lying to Zac, making him believe this was his baby it seemed his own dreams were going to go down in flames too.

Again it was something else that made Avery mad at Taylor because he'd still get to fulfill his dreams. He'd still be going off to California next month to make an album. Try to make it big in music like he'd always wanted to do.

"I'm sorry," Avery apologized and she was sorry. She was sorry she was lying to him but of course he didn't know that was why she was apologizing.

Zac would just think she was doing it because she was pregnant. He'd think she was apologizing for being pregnant.

*****

_Avery who had been home now for several hours and was also now grounded for not coming back home, looked up when her bedroom door opened._

_Feeling surprised when she saw Zac walking through._

_"You're parents said you were grounded," he told her before sitting on Jessica's empty bed, Jessica having gone out to see her boyfriend this afternoon. "But somehow I tricked them into letting me see you," he spoke as if they hadn't just argued last night._

_He was acting like things were fine and they were far from fine. They'd be far from fine for a long time especially if she just confessed everything that had happened and god did she want too. Just seeing him made her want too, even if she was still mad at him for last night._

_He deserved the truth, not a lie like Taylor wanted to keep this._

_"What did you do to get grounded Avie?" Zac questioned and again he was acting like he hadn't gotten angry with her last night. Like he hadn't left her alone at some party._

_Pausing Avery turned her head to look away from Zac, "I...after you left me at the party I went to stay at a friends," she lied like she was used to lying to Zac regardless of the fact that she wasn't._

_She'd hardly lied to him at all before tonight._

_"I never called them and told them where I was so they got angry at me."_

_After the lies had left her mouth Avery finally looked up at Zac, surprised to see him looking away from her and wondering if he was because he could see through her. Maybe deep down he knew somehow where she had been. Maybe he could read it on her that she'd cheated on him last night and not just cheated but cheated with his own damn brother._

_Then again she could just be being paranoid._

_"I'm sorry," Zac spoke softly and his words surprised her. "I mean for leaving you like that and even starting that damn argument. We both know I can be an asshole at times," he sighed as he looked up, his hand running through his long hair. "I'm just scared about you going off to a different college than me. Scared I'll lose you when I've loved you since we were kids in first grade."_

_Frowning Avery watched him as the guilt of what she had done last night ate away at her. Knowing once again that he deserved the truth but she couldn't tell him._

_It would indeed crush him and could she be responsible for that? She didn't think so._

_"It's okay," Avery stated with a small forced smile. "I figured the reason why you were scared is because you don't want us to turn into Taylor and Natalie," she said saying what had been said last night between her and Taylor._

_Words they had spoken before everything got so fucked up._

_Why couldn't she just go back to that time on the porch and fix everything? Life would be so much easier if she could._

_Zac shook his head, "It's not okay," he said firmly. "It was your birthday and I acted like an asshole and left you like some careless bastard," he said sounding ashamed of himself. "And now because of me you're grounded," he added on and Avery hated that he was taking on the burden of that too._

_It was something he didn't need, especially because if he knew the truth, the real one for where she'd been last night he wouldn't like it._

_He'd be crushed emotionally and either retreat into himself or maybe take his anger out on Taylor, despite his lack of violent tendencies Zac did sometimes have a temper._

_A temper that he'd use against Taylor._

_"No," Avery said way too fast. "I mean yeah our fight is what kept me out but it was my own fault. I should have called my parents," she said as she looked at him. "Please don't blame yourself for this," she muttered out and before she knew it she was standing from her bed._

_Walking the short distance to Jessica's bed where once there she sat down and took his hand in hers. Hating the way the simple gesture of hand holding with him made her skin burn. Reminded her she was an awful person for what she had done to him._

_Zac seemed to pause as he looked down at their hands, soon squeezing hers softly before looking back up. "Can we just make up already and forget last night happened?" he asked and god Avery wished she could forget last night._

_"Yeah," Avery nodded her head as she once again forced a smile. "We can do that," she told him and again her words were lies._

_It seemed lying came so easy when you had done it once...or at least she hoped that was the case. Needed it to be the case for her own sanity._

_Smiling Zac leaned over and left a chaste kiss on her forehead, "I love you Avery," he said and Avery hated the pang in her heart because she knew how much he meant it. He loved her so much and she didn't deserve him after what she'd done._

_But god she still wanted him._

_"I love you too Zac."_

*****

"Don't be sorry," Zac said breaking Avery out of her thoughts and she blushed as she looked at him. "I'm as much to blame as you are in this situation. I'm the one who didn't..I should have used condoms more often," he sighed as he reached for her hand.

Avery hating that she allowed him that because she didn't deserve his comfort. Not when she was letting him believe a big lie.

"We'll get through this together though," Zac told her sounding certain of that his hand squeezing hers. "I'm not...I can't just leave you to deal with this alone and I won't," he said and his words only made her ache because she knew this wasn't his burden to bear but she was making him.

By doing what Taylor wanted and lying she was making him bear a burden much heavier than he should have.

"You don't have too," Avery said as she shook her head. "I can do this alone," she told him as she moved her hand away from his. "I deserve to do this alone," she frowned as she ran a hand through her hair, hating the tears that were now pooling in her eyes.

She hadn't cried once since everything had happened but here and now she was on the verge of tears. About to cry and break in front of Zac.

Before she could say more Zac reached out and pulled her into him, his hand rubbing at her back and it seemed that simple gesture was enough to make her cry. Her walls crumbling as the boy she loved, the boy she didn't deserve held her.

"You don't deserve to do this alone Avery," Zac spoke quietly, comfortingly. "No one deserves to do this alone and what kind of soon to be father would I be if I let you do this alone?" he asked her as he continued to comfort her.

His words making her cry harder but also making her realize he was better than Taylor. Taylor had just ran and decided to let Zac deal with his mistake while Zac was here, not wanting to let her do this alone.

Closing her eyes Avery felt herself calm down some and as she did, she kept telling herself she could do this. She could keep up this lie because at least with Zac she wouldn't be alone. He'd never leave her at least until the truth came out but maybe it wouldn't.

Maybe everyone could live happily and the truth stay buried forever. At least she hoped so but she knew deep down that may not happen.

The world was never that nice.


End file.
